Spirtual Garden Built for my Dad and friend Mark Woodcock at the Grounds for Sculpture in Hamilton, NJ

Some children miss out on their fathers because they decide to be physically absent, choosing work or hobbies over spending time with their kids. Other parents are emotionally absent, not letting their children see that they even have emotions, hiding who they really are, maybe because they are embarrassed by their feelings, or afraid, they don't cry, or hug, or kiss their children.

With my father, he was always there for me in both body and spirit, showing me by his living example what it was like to be a father and a husband, that it was possible for a man to show tenderness, to be unafraid of open affection with his children, and to be a loving husband. He was selfless with us all.

It is impossible to speak of my father without also speaking of my mother, because they were one.  My Dad showed me what true love was like. My Father idolized my Mother. Dad loved us all more than any us can imagine. When it became too hard for him to live on, the pain that was the greatest for him was never his own, but rather the pain that he saw in us.  The night before my Father died, he wrote a love letter to the family. He knew he was going to pass. It’s a letter I cherish and read often. A man who had so much love for all of us.

When we lose loved ones, so many families are worried about all the things left unsaid because they were not brave enough to say them and they ran out of time.  I was lucky, because of my father's openness.  We always said to each other what needed to be said.  There are no regrets about that thanks to his openness, his willingness, his understanding and his love. We used to meet for coffee all the time to talk. He would come to my house to just talk. I miss those interactions but the love for my Dad has grown more and more even with each day that he is not here with me. Those interactions were precious gifts that I will never forget.

But the most important thing I can say about my father is that through our relationship he was able to spare me the void that so many people have in lives. I never doubted that my Dad loved me. He told me so whenever we spoke. We always hugged.  We shared ideas, fears and he never judged. He guided me. That is the greatest gift that a father can give to his child. I consider it a miracle that he had the strength of spirit to be able to give to me.

As a little girl I looked up to him walking in his steps was all that I knew. The games we played, the times we've shared, he always showed in everything, the way one should care. The older I got, the more I knew the joy it was to be his daughter. He was always  around for me and always loved me unconditionally. Even when I pulled a wild stunt he still loved me and helped me realize how dumb I was without making me feel dumb.  He would say, Your Mother is going to kill you and she is going to kill me if I do not kill you.

He often showed me right from wrong but also taught me how to not be meek but strong. His patience and his gentle care was everlasting and will always be there for me. A young lady I soon grew up to be in academics and accomplished in life because of his leadership, guidance and love. With all his love and all his praise he helped build me into the woman I am, especially strong in spirit and love.

Dad, you’re like the sun to me, a sure thing, always there, beaming light and warmth onto my life. Whatever is good in me today, I owe to your wisdom, your patience, your strength, and your love. You taught me by example, not taking no for an answer, moving forward when people tell you that you will fail, being a role model, how to be my own person, how to believe in myself, instructing me without controlling me. Even when we disagreed, you held us together, so our bond was never broken. I understand what you did for me, and I am so grateful that I had you as my solid foundation, my rock. I respect you, I admire you, I love you, my guiding light, my Dad.